Author:Philip S.

Pairing:

Rating: R

Summary:The presence of Vampires has changed American society. Not necessarily for the better, as it raises a lot of questions on the issues of religion and faith. Meanwhile Buffy has some questions of her own about living with a guy who doesn't grow any older. Completed June 20, 2001

1 - Empty Mirror, Empty Bed

#

Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer, stood nude in front of the large mirror and watched as the hands of an invisible sculptor moved across her flesh, unseen fingers leaving visible markings as they moved over skin, playing her passion like a violin. She shivered under the touch of her unseen lover and had to bite her lower lip to suppress a moan.

"Like it?" He asked her, his words coming from thin air.

She looked into the mirror again and saw unneeded breath flowing across her neck, softly moving strands of her hair, even as the invisible hands softly kneaded her breasts. It was incredible to watch herself this way.

"Very!" She whispered as she felt soft kiss trail along her neck and shoulder.

"Look at yourself!" He whispered. "You look so very beautiful, beloved."

She gasped as her invisible lover entered her from behind, imprints of large hands on her belly and chest holding her steady as they rocked back and forth in an increasing rhythm.

"Angel!" She whispered.

They came together, but the mirror in front of her still showed but one body in the throes of orgasm. Buffy watched herself with fascination, even as invisible arms slowly lowered her to the floor and she leaned back against an invisible chest.

"What would I do without you, Angel?" She asked him, turning around to look at the beautiful man the mirror refused to show her.

Angel smiled. "Well, you have the chance to find out now, don't you?"

With those words he was gone.

#

Buffy woke from sleep and stared around the dark bedroom, drenched in sweat. A dream, yet another dream. Unconsciously she reached out with her hand, searching for the cold body that had shared her bed for nearly three years.

He was not to be found, of course.

She sighed. Angel wasn't there anymore. Or rather he was still there, but she wasn't. This wasn't their bedroom in the Hyperion. It was the bedroom of a small and lonely apartment Buffy had rented for herself when living in the Hyperion had ceased to be a possibility for her.

Angel was gone. Once upon a time, with the portal of hell opening in front of them, he had promised that he would never leave her. Two months ago he had broken that promise and sent her away.

She drew her knees up and hugged her legs, trying to keep the cold of night at bay. He had sent her away. One angry word had resulted in another until they had screamed at each other, bodies trembling with fury, both saying things they knew they would regret later on, but unable to keep them inside. Until they had both had enough and she had stormed off into the night with Angel yelling after her, telling her not to come back until and unless she came to her senses.

She sighed. All because of one argument. They had had arguments before, of course. What couple didn't? Looking at the fact that they had different opinions about a lot of things, it was a miracle they hadn't argued more often. After all there were more than 250 years between them.

Yet they had never had an argument of the screaming kind until that one night two months ago. That one had been uglier and more severe than ever before and they had lashed out at each other like she never would have believed either of them able to.

He was the one who was wrong, she knew that. He had to know it, too, didn't he?

Then why didn't he call?

She looked at the clock standing beside the bed. Four o'clock in the morning. She had gone to bed but two hours earlier. Even without a Vampire lover by her side she was still mostly a creature of the night. She wouldn't have to get up for work until well past noon, yet she knew that she wouldn't be able to go to sleep again tonight.

She didn't want to dream of him again.

Ten minutes later she was out in the streets, looking for something to distract her. She had turned twenty-one this year (she had still celebrated with Angel on that day) and was now allowed to drink herself into a coma, wasn't she? Maybe she should try that one of these days. Maybe it would make her feel better.

Then again, it had never worked for Spike, the only hard drinker she knew, so she was a bit discouraged. Spike. Faith. Darla. She hadn't seen most of them either these last two months. Small wonder, she thought. All of them had been Angel's friends long before they had become her friends.

Giles was still there, of course, the man who was more her father than the seldom present Hank Summers ever had been. Through him she kept more or less up to date about the others, as Giles still had an on-again, off-again relationship with Darla, Angel's Sire. She wondered whether Angel asked him for news about Buffy in turn.

She shook her head. It shouldn't matter to her. Angel was the one who was wrong, he was the one who had to make amends. Some days she cursed that stubborn pride she felt, the one that prevented her from just going back to him, yet she could no more turn it off than she could take off her skin. He was the one who was wrong, he was the one who had to crawl.

Didn't he?

One stupid argument, she thought once more. She had been so sure of herself, so sure that he would be happy with her decision. Didn't he see it was for the best of them both? She still couldn't understand why he'd been so mad about it. The only reason she could come up with was one that she didn't want to consider.

Angel still loved her every bit as much as she loved him. That couldn't possibly have changed.

Could it?

She turned around a corner, still lost in thought, and almost bumped into a man going the other way. Before she even properly saw him her instincts were already screaming at her.

Vampire!

Old habits died hard, so she had her hand on the stake she always carried with her before she even knew it. The man she had bumped into, though, just fought for balance a moment and then apologized to her, smiling.

"I am sorry, I did not see you." He said.

She studied him for a moment. These days the average Vampire was no more a potential danger than any given human man she might meet after dark, which wasn't to say she could let her guard down. But he just smiled at her and seemed uninterested in a fight.

Too bad, Buffy thought.

"I wasn't watching, either." She told him.

She was about to walk past him when he moved a step to the side, halfway blocking her route. She looked up, a bit of anger penetrating into her face.

"I am sorry to intrude," he said, "but you look rather down."

Only now did she notice that he had a pack of fliers under his arm. That, combined with the tone of his voice, told her all she needed to know.

"I am not interested in whatever you're selling." She said and started brushing past him.

"I am not selling anything." He said and put one of his fliers into her hand with practised speed and ease. She was tempted to just crumble it up, but one look wouldn't hurt.

CHURCH OF THE HOLY BLOOD
BECAUSE PARADISE IS HERE ON EARTH

She looked up at the Vampire again. She knew that some Vampires practiced religion despite their inability to face the cross or other symbols of faith. She had been to a ceremony once herself. She had never been overly religious, though. She believed in God, more or less, but didn't see the need to visit a church or memorize prayers because of that. She was sure the big guy didn't mind.

"Why don't you come by once, when you have time?" The Vampire said. "Listening to what we have to say won't kill you, will it?"

Again she was tempted to just throw the flier away. The honest look on the Vampire's face dissuaded her, though. With a sigh she tucked the piece of paper into her pocket.

"I might." She said. This time the Vampire did nothing further to keep her.

Half a minute later she had forgotten him, her thoughts once again returning to the topic that had plagued her non-stop these past two months.

When would Angel call? Would he?



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2 - Beer, Bars, Brawls, and Thoughts On Safer Sex


"Marilyn Monroe?" Faith asked him.

"Met her just once!" Spike said between two sips of beer. "Looks better on celluloid than in real life, I tell you."

"Don't they all?" Faith said, laughing.

"Don't know. Never saw you on film, pet!"

She gave him a mock slap on the shoulder and took a swig from her own beer. Spike marvelled at how much he had become used to having her around. Hard to imagine that, just three years ago, she had been a brat whose favourite pastime had been driving him up the nearest wall (and succeeding at it much too often for his taste). Now he could barely imagine that he had ever hated her guts.

Faith had changed a lot since then. Not only had she grown up to become a truly beautiful woman, she had also matured from the brat into a someone he wasn't shy to kiss in public. She still practiced her constant one-up-manship with him, but he no longer minded and gave as good as he got.

He shook his head. So much had changed and not just concerning his sex life. He carried an ID with his real name in his pocket these days, complete with his real date of birth. September 3, 1873. There had been some problems, of course, since he wasn't technically an American. But seeing as he'd come here long before they'd closed down Ellis Island he had been given citizenship without too much fuss.

He even had a job these days. He and Faith were both in the bodyguard business, having taken a page out of Buffy's book. Spike especially was much in demand, as lots of rich people liked having Vampires as bodyguards, go figure! These last two years Spike had met more movie stars than in his preceding century of life.

"You jobbed for this Raven chick last week, didn't you?" Faith asked. "Rebecca something, right?"

"Rebecca Lowell, yeah. Chick told the police she was threatened, but it was just a publicity gag. Also she wanted to become one of the club. Tried to make me turn her, can you believe that?"

"You didn't ..."

"Of course not, do I look dumb to you?"

"Well ..."

"It was a rhetorical question pet, don't get your little brain in an uproar about it!"

"Talking about little brains, when did you learn to use fancy words like rhetorical anyway?"

They both laughed. Of course he hadn't turned Lowell when she had tried to seduce him, and not just because it was illegal to do so without the written consent of both parties, as witnessed by an attorney. Most humans didn't understand it, but eternal life wasn't all it was cracked up to be, especially with the limitations a Vampire had to deal with.

"Where do you get off ...?" Someone yelled from the other side of the bar.

"If the shoe fits ...!" Someone else yelled back.

"What's going on over there?" Faith asked, leaning out of their booth to look.

Spike followed her gaze and saw three people standing near the pool tables, two of them staring at each other. He didn't need over a century of experience to interpret their body language. The two staring ones had their fists clenched and looked like they would start hammering each other in a second.

"Just a few fellows that can't hold their beers." He told Faith and turned away again. "Ignore them. Maybe they'll do us the favour and beat each other into submission real soon."

Faith nodded, but didn't take her eyes away from the quarrelling threesome just yet. Spike downed another sip of beer when the sound of a breaking glass drew his attention back.

"They going at it yet?" He asked Faith.

"Just about to, I'd wager."

Spike turned around again and saw that one of the men was right in the face of the other.

"You're a fuckin' traitor to you race, that's what you are!"

"If you're an example of 'my race' I'd just as well quit the club, all right!"

"You wanna turn yourself into a bloodsucker? Fine! I'll give you some blood to suck, all right!"

That drew Spike's attention more thoroughly than before. One of the men wanted to become a Vampire? Apparently the other didn't like that. The third man that stood with them gave a half-hearted attempt to break up the other two, but without much success.

"You think we should ..." Faith began.

"Godless mother-fucking son of a bitch!" The swearing was followed by the sound of a fist hitting flesh and bone, shortly followed by that of a large body smashing through a cheap table. Spike jumped to his feet, as did Faith.

"You're not gonna live long enough to spend eternity, boy!" The man who had been put through a table staggered back to his feet, murder in his eyes.

"Okay, boys!" Faith and Spike walked between them. "That's quite enough!"

"Mind your own business!" Both men snarled at them almost at the same time.

"I never do!" Spike grinned.

The guy who didn't particularly like Vampires launched himself at Spike and threw a fist. Spike caught it and applied some pressure, forcing the man to his knees with a pain-filled groan.

"Are you quite finished?" He asked, sounding bored.

"Let go of Marty!" Another man joined the fun and raised a bar chair to smash it across Spike's back. He never got that far. Faith snatched the chair away, kicked his legs out from under him, and pinned him to the floor with the chair, on which she sat down to smile at him.

"No cheap shots allowed!" She told him.

"You stupid bitch! Get off me!"

"I didn't need your help!" The man who wanted to become a Vampire told Spike.

"Mate, you sure do need help!" Spike shook his head. "Go home and take a good, long look at the sun when it rises, okay? Believe me, it's not worth giving up. I speak from experience!"

The other man froze. "You're a Vampire."

"Yeah, me and Dracula! It's not fun, okay? Now go home and sober up!"

"We don't want no stinking bloodsuckers here!" Three more men had risen from their tables and stood behind Spike, looking eager for a fight.

"You talkin' to me?" Spike turned to look at them, his face changing in the process.

One of the men took a step back, but none of them turned to run.

"We don't need you or your stinking heresy!" Another man snarled. "You and yours got some nerve, calling the good Lord Jesus a Vampire! Get your fuckin' church out of our city or, by God, we will give you some of God's own kindness!"

Spike had no idea what the man was talking about and didn't particularly care.

"I haven't been to church since your granddaddy shit his diapers, mate. Now you better get out of my face before you regret it, boys!"

Faith saw that they wouldn't back down and neither would Spike. She knew her bleached lover quite well by now and while he wasn't the sort to start a fight unless seriously pissed, he was the sort to finish it. She rose and walked toward him. The man she had held down got out from under the chair, gasping for air.

"I ain't finished with you, bitch!" He snarled between gasps, having a hard time getting back to his feet.

She didn't pay attention to him. What she did notice was the fact that three more men had entered the bar. Her Slayer sense tingled. Vampires, all of them. She knew them, in fact. Some of Lenny's men, the local Vampire gang leader. One could call them friends of Spike and Angel's, if one used the term loosely.

None of them were too shy of brawling either.

"Hey Spike," one of them called over, "got a problem there?"

Spike looked at them. The men facing him looked at them. Human faces morphed into demonic ones. Fists were clenched and tempers flared high.

The man called Marty was back on his feet and punched Spike in the face.

"Oh great!" Faith mumbled.

"You got it coming, bloodsucker!" He screamed.

Spike slowly and deliberately wiped the droplets of blood from his split lip and stared at the man who had struck him.

"You're gonna wish your daddy'd pulled out early, mate!"

Ten minutes later the police arrived and arrested everybody they found, conscious or not. There were quite a few of the latter by that time. The bar was so much splinters and wreckage.

Another twenty minutes later Angel received a phone call, swore under his breath, and got his coat to make a trip to the local Police station.



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3 - The Word is Forever

Giles and Darla looked up as Angel walked into the lobby of the Hyperion, closely followed by Spike and Faith. The sun was about to rise outside, the Vampires were cutting it close. It wasn't the rising sun, though, that had put the dark circles under Angel's eyes. Darla knew better than that. They all did.

"Not as if it was our fault!" Spike complained.

"Oh, it wasn't?" Angel said, sounding not the least bit amused. "Which of them forced you to knock five men unconscious in that bar, William?"

Darla shook her head. Boys would be boys, she guessed, no matter how many centuries they had under their belts.

"They started it!" Faith muttered, hands thrust deep into her pockets and looking to all the world like a sullen teenager.

"So you had to finish it?" Angel asked.

"Damn right!" Faith said, daring him to continue the argument.

Angel just sighed and dropped into the love seat near Giles and Darla, looking incredibly tired. All of them knew that he hadn't slept much these last two months. He had also started to brood again, a lot. Darla had gotten so used to a livelier, happier Angel that she almost didn't recognize her Childe anymore.

"You said the fight started because one of those men wanted to become a Vampire?" Angel asked Spike.

"Yeah, stupid idiot. His fellows didn't feel so hot about that idea, it seems. Then they started throwing something about bloody Jesus Christ in my face. No idea what that was about. I was too busy pounding them into the floor a minute later to ask."

Angel shook his head, but didn't say anymore.

"It could be connected with that new Vampire religion we have heard about." Darla said. "The Church of the Holy Blood. It's one of those that make the Last Supper into a Vampire ceremony, you know the kind."

Angel nodded. During the last hundred years there had been a lot of Vampires that, looking for answers about their cursed condition, had turned toward religion. Angel admitted that the Last Supper ceremony could be interpreted in a certain way. Jesus sharing his blood with his apostles, promising them eternal life. Then rising after three days and such.

Angel didn't believe a word of it. He had been a good Christian, more or less, before he had died. These days he didn't give much of a damn one way or the other.

"We should probably look into that." He told the others. "The state of affairs between humans and Vampires is still fragile enough as it is. We don't need religious nuts around jeopardizing things."

"I will call Wesley and Doyle to make some discreet inquiries." Darla said. "You should probably put Gunn on the case, too. Cults like to recruit among the poor and displeased."

Angel nodded.

"Sun's up!" Spike said. "So unless you want to bitch some more, peaches, I will hit the sack!"

Angel didn't say anything and Spike shrugged, heading upstairs to the suite of rooms he used when staying at the Hyperion. Faith followed him after a moment, looking eager to get the stench of spilled alcohol and overcrowded holding cells off her.

"Giles, do you have a moment?" Angel said when the ex-Watcher and Darla were about to retire as well. Giles nodded at Darla to go ahead.

"Any news about Buffy?" Angel asked the other man once they were alone.

"It would be easier for you to keep apprised about her if you picked up the phone and called her."

Angel just looked at him and Giles sighed.

"Nothing new." He just said. "She keeps working overtime and doesn't sleep all that good. I really think you should ..."

"Anything about her mad idea?" Angel interrupted her.

Giles shook his head. He hated being stuck between the two lovers, if lovers they still were. Under normal circumstances he would have been solidly on Buffy's side in any argument between the two, even though he regarded Angel as a friend and an honourable man. In this special case, though ...

"Nothing. Though I doubt she has let it go. She can be stubborn that way. Besides, if she had, I have no doubt she would have called you by now."

Angel sighed, clearly not very happy with Giles' answers.

"I am doing the right thing, am I not?" He asked the ex-Watcher after a moment.

"I am honestly not sure." Giles said after a moment's consideration. "I agree that you could not just go along with her, Angel, but I don't think this separation is doing either of you much good, either."

The Vampire nodded. "I want to call her, Giles! Every day I have to restrain myself from picking up the phone and calling her. Or going by her place to knock her door down."

"Then do it!" Giles urged him.

"And then what? The argument would just continue where it left off, Giles. Buffy needs to see that she is wrong."

"And you think she will see that while she is alone, holed up in that apartment, while you are holing up in here?"

Angel sunk deeper into his seat, sighing deeply.

"I don't know what to do, Giles. I love her, but right now I don't particularly want her around, not as along as she persists with that idiot idea. How anyone could want ..."

He stopped himself. Giles wasn't the one he had to have that argument with. He knew the ex-Watcher shared his sentiments on that topic.

"Something has to be done, though." Giles reminded him. "I don't want either of you to be this unhappy, Angel."

"I am open to every idea, Giles, believe me."

Both men fell into silence as no ideas were forthcoming.

"Did the topic ever come up with you and Darla?" Angel asked all of a sudden.

"Not in so many words, no." Giles said after a moment. "The idea occurred to me, of course. I would be more than human if it hadn't. I have lived a long and mostly good life, though. The idea of mortality doesn't frighten me much."

"Buffy is still so young, though." Angel said.

"That she is, yes. To be honest I was afraid something like that would come up between you sooner or later. I have seldom seen people so much in love with each other, Angel. Is it so far-fetched for Buffy to hope that it will go on forever?"

Angel shook his head.

"I will not turn her into a Vampire, Giles. Under no circumstances."

He still remembered the day Buffy had approached him with the idea. She had beaten around the bush for quite some time, dropping hints. Angel had ignored them, hoping he was just reading her wrong. Then she had gone flat out and asked him.

He had not seen her since that night.

"I am just afraid," he continued, "that Buffy will do something stupid, Giles. There are a lot of Vampires running around these days. Some of them are bound to be willing to give her what she wants if she asks them."

Giles shook his head.

"I don't think you have to worry about that. The only reason Buffy wants to become a Vampire is to be with you forever. She wouldn't want anyone else as her Sire."

"And I won't do it!" Angel repeated.

"I hope not." Giles said. "I don't want her to become a Vampire anymore than you do, Angel."

"She has no idea what she is giving up." Angel said. "Sunlight. Food. Children. I can't take that away from her."

Giles sighed.

"I just hope that, given time, she will come around."

"What if she doesn't, Giles?" Angel asked him. "What if she doesn't?"

To that the former Watcher knew no answer.




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4 - What's That Look In Your Eyes, Girl?




„For centuries, no, millennia we were hunted as monsters!" The speaker in front of the crowd said, his voice ringing out across the room. The building had started life as a warehouse, it seemed, but had undergone extensive renovation in the not too recent past and now looked like the holiest of churches.

Except for the conspicuous absence of crosses and other items of faith.

„When our savior Jesus Christ," the speaker continued, „shared his gift of eternal life with his apostles, they did not understand him. They did not know what power flowed through their veins now. They thought his giving them their blood but symbolic in nature, when in truth it was so much more. One of them betrayed him. And so the gift was tainted and those who received it were found wanting.

„And so, yes, we were monsters! For we had fallen away from our true path. We allowed ourselves to be seduced by the gift we had been given. Like Judas Iscariot once turned away from the savior, so did we. We fled into the dark and preyed on those whom we should have enlightened."

At the back of the crowd, close to the exit, Doyle listened to the words of the speaker and gave the man in the long black robe a quiet nod of respect. He was an excellent speaker. He had charisma, no doubt about that, and knew how to make the crowd listen to his every word. There had to be two to three hundred people assembled here and everyone was hanging on his lips.

He was a Vampire, as were many other people present.

The presence of Vampires always made Doyle a little nervous. One would think he'd gotten used to it after so long in the company of Vampires, some of whom he considered his closest friends. Yet something about them always gave him an itch somewhere he couldn't scratch. Maybe it was just the demon part of his being, telling him to stay away from the predators.

He didn't like being here. Over the years he had done a lot of things for Angel. As the Vampire had done for him in return. They were friends, they helped each other. That was what friends did, especially when you only had very few to begin with. Still, this place gave him the creeps, and not just because of the many Vampires.

Doyle had a few unpleasant memories concerning churches and religious men.

He sighed. Ever since Harry had left him for good, he hadn't had much of a social life. He had started drinking again, too, which didn't help much, but made him feel better for a short time. He never drank when he did a favor for Angel, though. The Vampire knew that and knew he could count on Doyle.

Sometimes he thought it was sad that the only people who thought good of him were Vampires.

„Now, though, we are on the road to redemption." The speaker's voice rang out again. „The Restoration has given us a second chance. We have a lot of things to make up for. The Lord still rejects us, his symbol of purity repulses us. We may not walk in the light of day, for to look upon his face is to be found wanting. Yet we are on the way, my brothers and sisters. We are on the way into the light and soon, soon we will prove ourselves worthy of his grace once more."

Doyle subtracted a few points from his estimation. The guy had emphasized the down points of becoming a Vampire a little too much for his taste. The crowd, though, the better part of them human, didn't seem to mind. Doyle wondered how many of these people actually wanted to become Vampires. How many of them would get their wish fulfilled? Maybe tonight? Did the church accept on-the-spot converts?

He toned out the ongoing preaching and concentrated instead on the man who was talking. Young on the outside, but with a feeling of power around him that the demon inside Doyle couldn't have missed. A Vampire, and rather old at that. Maybe older than Angel even. Doyle wished that Angel or Darla were here, they would be able to tell such things with a glance instead of having to rely on gut-level estimation.

The Vampires in the crowd, though, those were mostly fledglings, none of them with that sense of age about them that helped identify those truly ancient. Most of them had probably been turned after the Restoration, meaning none of them had ever known what it was like to be a bloodthirsty demon without conscience or compassion.

Doyle nodded. Those were probably the best to use in converting others. They didn't know about the downside of being a Vampire and could honestly say that being a Vampire was a blast. Nothing comes over better than naive honesty.

The humans present all looked like they hailed from the lower levels of society. Figured, Dolye thought. Those with no hope and nothing to lose are always the easiest to recruit into this kind of cult. He looked up at the people assembled around the speaker.

There were a dozen of them, all dressed in the same black robes with a few patches of red visible on the shoulders and the hems. The costumes didn't look that impressive, but the people wearing them had that same smell of age around them.

More old bloodsuckers. Doyle wondered if any of them truly believed the crap they were telling.

He looked at the speaker again. According to the leaflet he had been given upon entering this 'church' he was called Revered Geoffrey Jerome, founder of the Church of the Holy Blood. Doyle slowly made his way forward in the crowd until he was close enough to see Jerome's eyes.

They were almost glowing, not with the demon amber of a Vampire's demonic face, but with the kind of intense fervor Doyle knew only too well.

He had seen it in the eyes of the village priest that had ordered him burned at the stake as a child when his demonic side first manifested.

Yes, he thought, this man believed every word he was saying. That made him dangerous, Doyle knew. A man who thought he was doing God's work was hard to argue with.

He shook his head. Angel wanted this church checked out because he believed it could become a threat and Doyle found himself forced to agree. Immortality delivered on a silver platter, along with a little mythology that made the monsters into God's chosen, what was not to like about it?

How were they to prevent people from joining up in droves? Vampires were legal. Religious freedom was part of the Constitution. Sure, a lot of hardcore Christians would probably get in an uproar about this blatant rewriting of Christian mythology, yet legally there was nothing wrong about it. And if people wanted to have themselves turned into immortals, there was nothing to stop them from doing that, either.

Doyle thought on possible consequences. Lots of static from the established Christians, that much was for sure. Maybe enough to really get ugly. If that didn't happen, a rapid increase in the Vampire population would certainly spell trouble. If everyone stopped aging and started sucking blood, what then?

He resolved to let the deep thinkers figure that out. Wes and this Giles guy would probably have a field day doing estimations and shitting out theories about a world filled to the breaking point with Vampires. His job was to check out this gathering.

His eyes moved across the crowd again as the Revered droned on in front. He saw no familiar faces as of yet, which made him glad. He had few friends and figured all of them too smart to be caught up in something like this. He knew that Gunn had to be around here somewhere, also checking things out, but he hadn't seen the black boy yet.

Suddenly, though, he did see a familiar face.

„Buffy?" He whispered to himself. Yes, it was the little Slayer. What was she doing here? Also checking things out? Doyle knew that she and Angel had had some trouble lately, though he wasn't much into details about them. Had he sent her here as well?

Doyle was on the verge of going over to join here, but then he thought it better not to. This was a covert mission, kind of, so better if no one saw them together. Yeah, better that way. He was about to look away again when Buffy turned her head a bit, allowing him to see her eyes.

He didn't like what he saw in those eyes, not one bit. The same thing he saw in the eyes of lots of other people present.

Why was she looking at that Revered with this longing in her eyes?

She couldn't possibly be considering ...

Could she?



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5 - What's a Best Friend to Do?




The bell on the door chimed and Willow turned around to look at the potential customer who had just entered the shop. She smiled when she recognized the person.

„Buffy!" The witch greeted her friend. „I haven't seen you in ages."

Buffy smiled back at the red-haired witch. Willow, like most people she knew these days, had originally been introduced to her through Angel, but after a while the two girls had become the best of friends and to Buffy it felt like she had known Willow since her early school days.

„Hi, Will!" She greeted her. „Sorry I haven't been around much. Things have been ... not easy."

Willow recognized the dark look on her friend's face. She knew, of course, that Angel and Buffy had had a falling out. She hated it when her friends didn't get along with each other. Angel and her weren't really close friends, though, more like comrades in arms or something similar. At one time the Vampire had needed the help of a witch and had found one, or two to be exact. Buffy, on the other hand, was her best friend.

„Hi, Buffy!" Tara came in from the back of the shop she and Willow ran together. The Magic Box was the largest store for occult shopping in the greater Los Angeles area and the two witches made a healthy profit here. Most of it came from black candles and glow-in-the-dark posters, though. There weren't a whole lot of real witches or other mystics around.

„Hi, Tara! Mind if I steal your girl for a minute?" Buffy smiled. She knew that Willow and Tara were lovers. Some days it freaked her out a bit, but she had learned to be, if not exactly supportive, then at least neutral on the subject. She liked Willow and Tara too much to let the bigot inside her ruin their friendship.

„S-Sure!" The blonde witch said, leaning on the counter and studying some papers. Buffy motioned for Willow to go outside and the two young women sat down in an outdoor cafe but minutes later, ordering milk shakes.

„What's up?" Willow asked her friend.

„I ... I wanted to talk to you about a few things that ... that have been going through my mind these last few weeks."

Willow nodded, motioning for Buffy to go on. Was this about her and Angel? Willow didn't know why the two of them had broken up and curiosity was getting the better of her.

„I ... tell me when I stop making sense okay? I ... had a long talk with Angel a few weeks ago. The night we broke up. I'd been dropping hints a long time before that, but he never picked up on them. So I just went out and told him."

„Told him what?" Willow asked.

„That I wanted him to turn me into a Vampire."

For a long moment Willow just stared at her best friend, unable to say anything. Had she heard that right? Had Buffy really just told her that she'd asked Angel to turn her into a Vampire?

„Buffy," she managed after a while, „why did you do that? You can't really be considering ..."

„Of course I can." She interrupted. „Why does everyone think I am loony? Willow, I love Angel. He is immortal, I am not. If we do nothing I will grow old while he will stay twenty-six for the rest of eternity. I think he might even stay with me when I'm an old hag, but that isn't the point. I want to be with him. Forever. That's the whole point of it."

Willow was surprised by the intensity of Buffy's outburst. Looking into her friend's eyes the witch saw that she meant every word of it. Every single word.

„What did Angel say?" Willow asked, playing for time to figure out what she was supposed to say.

Buffy laughed without humor.

„His reaction was pretty much the same as yours. He said I couldn't possibly want this, that it would be wrong, that he would never be able to do this to me. God, he sounded like I'd asked him to kill me, not ..."

„But that's exactly what you asked, Buffy." Willow interrupted her now. „You asked him to sink his fangs into your neck. To drain your blood. That is what you asked of him."

„I wouldn't really be dead." Buffy said. „Just ..."

„Buffy, you have to look at things from Angel's point of view." Willow interrupted her again. „The woman he loves asks him to kill her. How would you react?"

Willow's words got Buffy thinking. Was that the way Angel looked at it? Was that why he was so strongly set against it? Only because he couldn't bring himself to do it?

„I have been thinking about ... other ways." Buffy said after a while. „I mean, if Angel can't do it, there are others ..."

„Are you really considering asking some strange Vampire to turn you?" Willow asked, disbelief in her voice. „God, Buffy, what is happening here? What has made you so desperate? You are twenty-one for God's sake. You won't be a hag for a long, long time."

Buffy had never known her best friend to be so worked up about anything. Normally Willow was one of the shyest people around, only her girlfriend Tara was worse. One wouldn't know it right now, though.

„I love him so much, Willow." Buffy said, searching for the words to express what she felt inside her. „I can see it happening every day. He stays the same, but I am changing. He always tells me I am growing more beautiful, but that is but temporary. I am changing, he is not. I will go right on changing until I die a few decades from now and then he will be alone. He will never die and once I am gone we will be apart forever."

Some tears were trailing down her cheeks now.

„I want things to stay like they are, Will!" Buffy said. „I want to be twenty-one year old happy Buffy forever, with my Angel by my side. Is that so hard to understand?"

Willow just stared at her.

„It's not about becoming a Vampire!" Buffy continued. „It's about being with him. I am not eager to say good bye to the sun forever. I will miss tasting real food. But all that isn't important when I can be with him forever. If there were another way to accomplish that I would be upon it in a second. But only Vampires live forever, Will. It's the only way."

The two friends descended into silence for a few minutes, Willow trying to wrap her mind around the things Buffy had just told her, Buffy waiting for Willow's reaction.

„You are serious." Willow said finally. „You really want to do this."

„When I talked to Angel about it, I didn't want him to change me right then and there, Will. Maybe in another ten years or so. As you said, I am still young. But now I don't see any other way but to present him with fait accompli. I ... I can't stand being apart from him, Will!"

Willow nodded, slowly coming to understand, or at least appreciate, the depth of her friend's feelings. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined having such a conversation with Buffy, but looking back, it was to be expected. Seldom had she seen two people so much in love with each other. Could she really blame Buffy for wanting it to last forever?

„Buffy," she began, „I think ... I think I am beginning to understand why you want to do it. But you can't honestly want to just collect some Vampire from the street and make him turn you, can you?"

Buffy shook her head. „I want Angel to do it, Will. He is the only one I would want as my Sire. But if he won't do it ..."

She looked up again.

„There is that new Vampire church setting up shop in town. They call themselves Church of the Holy Blood. Religious nuts who think Jesus was a Vampire and giving his blood to his apostles to give them all eternal life."

„You don't ..." Willow began.

„Believe that? Of course not. But Will, I talked to them. If I convert to their religion, they will make me a Vampire. It won't take place in a filthy back alley or something. There will be an attorney, medical people will supervise it, all will be legal and safe."

It was Willow's turn to shake her head now.

„Buffy, please! Don't do something like that spur of the moment! Think about it! You're talking about joining some kind of cult."

„Only for show, Willow. I don't like these people, but they can give me what I need. So who cares if I have to mouth some words about believing all that stuff? I'm sure the big guy knows what I really believe."

Willow closed her eyes. What her friend was planning was wrong, she knew that, but she didn't find the words to convince her of it. What was she supposed to say when it was obvious that Buffy was already set in her plan?

„Willow, please! I was hoping you would understand. If there was any other way, I would do it, but the way things are ..."

She stopped talking as she saw Willow's brow furrowing. The words Buffy had just spoken sparked something inside the witch's head. Another way to be immortal? She had read something about that just a short time ago, hadn't she?

„If there was another way you would drop this entire becoming a Vampire thing?" Willow asked.

Buffy looked at her, confused. „Yes. But Will, there isn't. I didn't just jump into this, you know? I researched. There are about a thousand spells and rituals that are supposed to make you immortal, but none of them work and most of them are fatal. I'm not the first human to look for immortality, you know?"

Willow stood up from the table and grabbed Buffy by the arm.

„Willow, what ...?"

„I read about something like that." The witch told her friend as she dragged her back to the Magic shop. „And that means you won't go one step further with that plan of yours until I've read it again, okay? If I can't stop you from doing this, then by God I'm gonna make sure that you do it right."

Buffy was taken aback by Willow's forcefulness, but inside she smiled. Finally she had found someone who didn't want to immediately institutionalize her because of her idea. And who knew, if Willow really knew a better way to become immortal ...

It might turn out to be a good day after all.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6 - You Can't See Tears In the Rain


NOTE: The Latin phrase Buffy reads from the book is freely translated from English, using an online dictionary. All Latin-speakers, please don't be mad at me for my no doubt horrible translation. I just looked up the words and threw them together until they sounded cool. Forgive me!

#


The Hyperion Hotel loomed in front of Buffy like a great dark fortress and she felt a chill in her bones. She hadn't been back here since the day Angel had sent her away, refusing to be the one to come crawling back to him. She had been here often before that, of course, had practically lived here for close to three years.

Never before had the building looked that intimidating to her.

„Get your act together, Summers!" She admonished herself. „Everything will turn out right tonight and how come the big heap Vampire Slayer is scared of a building anyway?"

With new resolve, or maybe just the illusion of resolve, she walked toward the entrance of the Hotel. This time it would work out right. It wasn't like she would try and make him turn her into a Vampire tonight. He would be happy that she had found an alternative and then everything would be fine.

She didn't allow herself to remember that she had thought the same two months ago, on the night they had broken up.

Pushing open the doors she walked into the lobby, the chatter of several people reaching her ears.

„I still think I should tell him." That was Doyle's voice.

„And I think you should keep your nose out of his fucking business, man!" That was Gunn.

„Look!" Doyle again. „I know she is a tough lady and all, but I know how cults like that one operate. It's brainwashing and if she is getting caught up in that ..."

„You are not, by chance, speaking about me, are you?" Buffy walked into view.

Doyle and Gunn stood face to face, but turned to look at her with identical expressions of surprise on their faces.

„Buffy!" Doyle managed after a minute or so. „Princess, nice to see you back."

„Yeah!" Gunn added. „What he said."

„Is Angel in?" Buffy asked them.

„Angel? Oh yeah, Angel! He's in, yeah! Upstairs. You know, his rooms. Of course you know, you were there a couple of times."

Buffy smiled as she walked past the rambling Doyle.

„Don't worry, Doyle! I'm not planning on converting anytime soon, okay? But it's sweet of you to worry!"

She left him standing with his mouth wide open and walked up the stairs to the rooms she had shared with Angel until two months ago. She wouldn't really have needed Doyle to tell her that he was in. She knew. Somehow she knew.

He knew, too, as was apparent by the fact that he was looking at her the moment she walked in.

„Hi!" Buffy said, suppressing the urge to give him a stupid wave or something.

„Buffy!" He just said, his face carefully neutral. What was going on inside his head, she wondered. Gladness to see her warring with worry over what she was up to now? Probably something like that.

„I was hoping ... can we talk? If you have the time, I mean."

Angel stayed silent, but motioned for her to come in. Buffy quickly walked over to where he sat and dropped into the chair close to him, scooting it around until they sat face to face.

„Angel, I ... I did a lot of thinking these past two months. About ... about what I asked you to do and why it managed to drive such a wedge between us."

He said nothing, just looked at her with that terribly neutral face. It was a Vampire thing, she suspected. That thing where they just stopped moving, stopped breathing, until you could mistake them for wax dolls. So terribly silent that you were afraid they'd vanish the moment you blinked.

„Do you still love me?" She asked him suddenly. She hadn't planned to ask that, but suddenly she had to know. She had to be certain.

„Of course I do." He said without hesitation. „But that was never the question, was it?"

She shook her head. No, it had never been the question. She had never truly believed that he had sent her away and refused to call because he didn't love her anymore. She just had to be certain.

„I regret ... some of the things I said to you two months ago." She said after another awkward moment of silence.

„Some?" Angel asked.

„You are not an antique, prude asshole." She said with the barest hint of a smile on her lips.

Angel remained stoic for a moment, but then a shadow of a smile played across his features as well.

„Okay." He said. „You remember that I called you a stubborn and thickheaded idiot?"

„Yes."

„I don't think you're an idiot."

For a moment she just stared at him, then both chuckled and the smiles grew broader. Buffy reached out and clasped her hand in his.

„God, I missed you so much, Angel." She whispered.

„I missed you, too, beloved."

They embraced and for a long moment Buffy forgot everything about her plan, immortality, and Vampires. She was back in the arms of her Angel and that was the only thing that mattered to her right now. God, how had she managed two months without him?

The moment passed, however, and Buffy remembered the reason why she was here.

„Angel!" She gently slipped from his embrace. „We need to talk. About ... about what we discussed the last time."

Angel's neutral face immediately snapped back into place like a solid mask, a poker face he had perfected in more than two centuries. Try as she might, Buffy could not see past that mask.

„About you wanting to become a Vampire." He said, his voice flat and emotionless.

„Yes, that."

She looked down, looking for the words she had put together so well when practicing this talk before the mirror last night. It had sounded so easy back then.

„Angel, I ... I didn't think what I was asking from you. I am sorry that I didn't think what it would mean for you."

She could see the barest crack in his mask.

„So you have given up on this insane idea?" He asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

„It's not insane." She said before she had time to think about it. His face immediately darkened.

„I am not prepared to go through this again." He said, beginning to rise from his chair.

„Angel! Wait!" She put her hand on his shoulder and gently pressed him back into the chair. „It won't be a repeat of the argument we had two months ago, okay? I won't ask you to turn me into a Vampire again, I promise!"

He sat back down, but there was suspicion in his eyes.

„What then, Buffy? Why are you here?" The cold in his voice surprised her. What was so terrible about her idea that it made him behave like this?

„It was never about becoming a Vampire, Angel!" She told him. „It was about being with you forever and I thought that becoming a Vampire was the only way. But I was wrong."

„Wrong in what way?" Angel asked.

„I found a better way!" She informed him, smiling.

„A ... better way?"

She took the book Willow had given her from her rucksack and showed it to him. For a moment he was confused, the cover read „Vampiric Rituals and Magic" in Latin. Then his face darkened again.

„Buffy?" He asked, fearing that he already knew what she had uncovered.

„Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos!" Buffy read from one of the pages. „Sorry, couldn't memorize the words. It means ..."

„Day and Night, bonded in Blood." Angel said.

She looked up at him. „You know the words?"

„I know the ritual." Angel said and stood, walking out of the room. Buffy was confused. He knew the ritual? Then why ...? She quickly stood, the book under her arm, and ran after him.

Angel stood on the balcony and looked out into the night of LA, the city that had been his home for over half a century now. Rain clouds were gathering in the skies above, hiding what few stars the lights of the city allowed him to see.

He closed his eyes as he heard Buffy coming onto the balcony behind him.

„Angel, what is the matter with you?" She demanded. „I thought you'd be happy to ..."

„Happy?" He twisted around to face her and she gasped when she saw that his demon face had slipped over his human features. „Happy? Buffy, do you have any idea what you are asking me?"

She didn't break away from his gaze.

„I'm asking to be with you forever. This blood bond allows a Vampire to bond with a human. The human will gain immortality without becoming a Vampire, the two will be bonded for all time."

„Did you read that to the end?" Angel growled at her. „It also says the bond is irreversible. Eternal. And when one of those bonded dies, the other will die with him."

„So?" Buffy yelled at him. „Do you honestly think I care about that? I want to be with you forever, damn it! If you were to die I wouldn't want to continue living."

He turned away and Buffy felt tears in her eyes.

„Angel! What the hell is the matter with you? Why are you so afraid of this? I ... I thought you wanted the same. I thought you would want to be with me forever."

When he didn't react she angrily wiped the tears from her face, even as the first raindrops began to fall down on them.

„But if I was wrong, if you don't want that, then tell me now! Tell me so I can forget this stupid idea and we can go our separate ways!"

She could see him tensing, his hands clenching into fists, but he didn't turn around. After a minute or so Buffy dropped the book to the floor and turned away from him.

„Sorry to waste your time." She said. „I won't bother you again!"

All the way to the door she hoped that Angel would call after her, that he would come running and tell her why he was behaving this way. Tell her that he loved her.

He didn't.

Buffy left the Hyperion without looking back, her tears lost in the rain that was now pouring down on the city of angels.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7 - Right of Assembly


#


"I don't like this." Spike mumbled under his breath for what had to be the hundredth time.

"I get the message." Faith said. "Though maybe you'd want to repeat it one more time so I can be certain I understood you correctly."

"Bugger off!"

Truth to tell they were both miserable. The rain had been pouring down for three nights straight now and showed no sign of letting up. Unfortunately the lousy weather hadn't kept the idiots off the streets. So here they were, getting soaked, while a parade of idiots parroted in front of them.

"First public assembly my ass." Spike mumbled. "Couldn't they have picked another night?"

The Church of the Holy Blood had invited everyone interested in their message to attend a public gathering in one of Los Angeles' parks. Angel had had Kate check things out and the assembly was a hundred percent legal, approved by the city government, all the papers filled
out and stamped. There was nothing they could do about it.

Faith watched the representatives of the church wearily. She had lived on the streets for a good long while, mostly to escape from the latest bunch of foster parents the state had handed her off to, and was suspicious of all kinds of people that promised you heaven on earth if only you would do what they told you. Who knew, if not for Angel, maybe she would be caught up in one of those cults by now. She shuddered at the thought.

Doyle had told them that he had seen Buffy during one of the church's gatherings. She also knew that her sister Slayer had had another falling out with Angel, though she still didn't know what it was about. Faith didn't like it. She didn't like it at all.

The church people had erected a podium in the middle of a large clearing, complete with speakers, lights, and everything else you needed for a good show. Except the necessary weather for it, Faith added. Rain storms weren't the right atmosphere for a holy message.

About a hundred people were already gathered in the clearing. Taking the miserable weather into account, that was a whole lot. She also saw a few people who didn't look like they were here to convert. They watched the proceedings with grim faces and some of them carried
posters.

Faith could just make out one of them. It read JESUS IS NO BLOODSUCKER!!!.

"This could be trouble." She told Spike, who was busy being miserable.

"That's what them are here for, I'd wager."

A full compliment of LA's finest were also present, wearing rain gear and looking every bit as miserable as most other people present. No, she resolved, this wouldn't be a great night for the Church of the Holy Blood.

A dozen or so Vampires stood on the podium, looking out at the gathering crowd. Some workers were busy trying to fix a huge canopy over the clearing to keep out the rain, but only two corners of it were fastened by now. Sadly the rain didn't seem to bother the Vamps. They just stood there and looked around.

Her eyes traveled to the Vampire called Jerome, by all accounts the leader of this bunch. He was handsome, she had to admit, and even standing still and doing nothing he did emit some kind of charisma that easily drew eyes toward him. He would have made a good politician, Faith thought.

"What do you think?" She asked Spike, nudging him to look in Jerome's direction.

"Old bugger." Spike just said. "I'd say two centuries and change. Maybe three."

Faith knew that Darla had tried to gather some more information about Jerome, but so far they only knew that he was not a member of the Order of Aurelius, the Vampire bloodline that Darla headed. There were eleven other bloodlines - ten if you omitted the nearly defunct
Order of Grigori - and there was no central database or anything for their members.

"The others?"

"Some of them might just be old enough to remember being monsters." Spike said. "Most are under a hundred, though. Jerome's the bugger we have to look out for."

Faith nodded. After nearly three years of training and working out with Buffy she had the Slayer instincts down pat and zeroed in on Jerome. Her instincts were calling for her to just jump him and ram a stake into his heart. Of course they were saying the same about the Vampire standing by her side.

Jerome looked in her direction and their eyes locked. For a moment Faith was sure that he knew exactly what, if not who she was. His eyes flashed demon amber.

"Yeah, fucker!" She mumbled. "Slayer's here to keep an eye on you."

Jerome held her gaze for a moment longer, then looked away again, behaving as if nothing was wrong. Maybe he hadn't recognized her after all. Or maybe he just felt safe with the law protecting him.

"Don't feel too safe!" Faith mumbled again.

Half an hour later the rain had faded to a light drizzle and the clearing, now shielded by the canopy, was packed with people. About a third of them seemed to be Vampires, although pretty young ones all around. Of the remaining two thirds Faith estimated about half were interested, while the other half was here to make trouble.

"Welcome brothers and sisters!" Jerome finally started speaking.

Faith tuned out his voice. She had heard it all from Doyle. Sure, Jesus had been a Vampire. Right, the Last Supper ceremony was a Vampire sharing his blood. Certainly, Jesus had risen after three days. Yada, yada, yada.

About two minutes into his speech a tomato went flying and hit him in the chest. The red stain looked remarkably like blood.

"We've heard enough of your crap!" Someone yelled from within the crowd holding the signs.

"Got your holy blood right there on your chest, buster!" A few other items of food went flying.

"Hey, let the man speak!" Someone else yelled.

Within a minute the crowd was divided into two factions facing off. The police stood close, ready to jump into the fray, yet with too little manpower to actually stop a full-blown fight if it started. Faith sighed.

"Here we go again."

"If we get arrested again you owe me." Spike grumbled.

"Why's that? As far as I remember it was you who got us arrested the last time."

"Guy had it coming."

The two of them moved closer to the gathering crowd, even as Jerome apparently tried to ease the tempers a bit.

"This is a peaceful gathering!" He told everyone. "Violence is not the answer to your questions."

"Answer this!" Another tomato went flying and Jerome evaded it easily, moving in a blur. For a moment Faith feared he would attack whoever had thrown the thing, but he didn't move from the podium. Only his eyes glared a demon amber as his face changed.

"We're not gonna stand by while you disgrace the good Lord!" Someone yelled and that, combined with the sight of Jerome's true face, was more than enough to start the fun. Suddenly people were going at each other all over the clearing. The cops tried to keep the two sides apart, but there were too few of them.

"Just great!" Spike grumbled and jumped into the crowd. Faith followed him a moment later, loosening a long string of curses as she started knocking out people left and right.

The cops managed to restore order about half an hour later, which was mostly due to the fact that a good number of people on both sides of the fight, including a lot of Vampires, had been rendered unconscious. The cops apparently didn't care about that fact and started arresting people.

"You owe me one!" Spike grumbled.

"In your dreams!" She grumbled back.

"No talking!" The officer that had arrested them shouted.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8 - Doing Hard Time


#


"That's the second time." Angel mumbled.

"Stuff it, okay?" Spike mumbled back.

"Two times in less than two weeks that I have to get you out of jail." Angel continued on, oblivious to Spike's comments. "I'm going to start not answering the phone soon."

"I wouldn't have gone to that bloody gathering if you hadn't been so worried about everything. So friggin' stuff it!"

Angel and Spike walked through the corridors of the police station. Spike, as well as the other Vampires arrested during the gathering had been put into special windowless cells in the basement of the station. The law about proper treatment of Vampire prisoners had come through very quickly after an idiot rookie cop had put a Vampire into a cell with eastward-facing windows.

The human prisoners were kept in another part of the station and they still needed to get Faith out.

"Jerome in no way got involved in the fighting?" Angel asked Spike, deciding that grumbling to his childe was useless.

"Bastard just stood there and tried to preach love and understanding. Nobody listened, though. Big surprise, eh?"

"You get a reading on him?"

"He's old, that much's for sure. Maybe older than you, Peaches. He believes what he says, too. You can see it in his eyes. Bloody fanatic."

"Doyle said the same thing. I don't like it."

Spike was tempted to say that Angel hadn't had much liking to spare ever since Buffy had checked out of the Hyperion, but as Angel seemed to be in an even worse mood these past few days, if that was even possible, Spike kept his mouth shut for once.

It was no fun needling the big poof when he was in full brood-mode.

A police officer stopped them in front of the cell tract and Angel flashed his badge. The officer checked the records and then proceeded to let them through. The police station had five cells and all of them were filled with numerous people. Spike recognized many of them from the gathering.

"LAPD got a full house tonight." He said. Angel didn't laugh. Well, okay, it hadn't been very funny.

Two of the cells were occupied by female prisoners. To be more exact one of the cells was filled to the breaking point, while the other cell just held one prisoner.

"What can I say?" Faith shrugged, doing her best to look innocent. "Nobody wants to bunk with me."

Taking in the terrified looks on the faces of the female prisoners in the adjoining cell, Spike couldn't suppress a laugh. Yes, that was his Faith all right.

The officer opened the cell and let Faith out, looking rather relieved to get her out of there and making sure to stand a good distance away from her.

Faith calmly walked by the other cell, only to suddenly whirl around to face the watching prisoners.

"Boo!" She yelled, causing everyone to jump back and press against the rear wall.

"Stop that, Faith!" Angel chided her, though Spike was sure he saw the barest shadow of a smile on his Sire's face.

"Sorry, girls!" Faith smiled at the prisoners, which probably caused more of a scare than the boo.

"Let's get out of here, luv!" Spike said, just managing to keep his voice earnest. "We got fresh babies for you to eat at home."

„Oh, yummy!" Faith said, licking her lips.

Apparently some of the prisoners were not a hundred percent certain he was joking and kept watching them intently until they were out the door. Faith walked out with a happy smile on her face, ignoring the dark stare Angel gave both her and Spike.

#

"William, I need to talk to you for a moment!" Angel said as they walked into the Hyperion.

Spike saw the look on Angel's face and just nodded, motioning for Faith to go up without him. Angel and Spike constantly needled each other, or to be more precise Spike was the one that did most of the needling, but that didn't change the fact that they had been best friends for over a hundred years now.

"What is it, peaches?" Spike asked. He never called Angel by his true name, Liam. Angel tended to get all depressed and guilty when someone did that.

"Buffy was here three days ago." Angel just said.

They sat down in the lobby chairs.

"She still hung up on that Vampire idea?" Spike asked, his voice serious.

"No."

"No? Well, than I'd say all is well again, right?"

"No, it isn't. She now wants to perform the Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos."

That managed to strike even Spike speechless for a minute. The blood bond? Buffy wanted to perform the blood bond with Angel?

"How did she learn about that?" He asked when he found his voice once more.

"I'm not sure, though I suspect Willow and Tara have a hand in this."

Spike shook his head. "No one has performed that bloody ritual in ages. I doubt there is more than a friggin' handful of people alive who even saw it done, much less actually did it."

Angel nodded.

"I know that. I tried to explain to her that ... that ..."

Spike shook his head, seeing the look in his face. "Stuff it, peaches! I know you too well for that. You didn't try to explain anything to her. You just told her to forget about it, right? Right?"

Angel nodded after a moment. Spike sighed.

"Peaches, peaches! You should know better by now. Buffy ain't no 18th century girl that will do what she's told by her big, strong hubby. She has to be the most stubborn and thickheaded person I've ever met and believe me, that says a lot coming from someone who's paired off with Faith."

"Hey!" Faith's voice came from above them.

"Will you ever stop listening in on other people's conversations?" Angel asked her, sounding more tired than actually annoyed.

"Got to bed, luv!" Spike told her. "I'll come and tuck you in soon, I promise!"

"You can sleep on the couch tonight if I hear one more comment like that!" Faith told him, shortly followed by the sound of a closing door.

"Some days I wonder why we keep her." Spike sighed.

"You can't keep your hands off her body, that's why." Angel reminded him.

"I knew there was a reason." He shook his head. "But coming back to that other hot Slayer chick in our lives, you won't get Buffy off that idea unless you tell her why you don't want to do it."

Angel looked down and rubbed his forehead, which caused Spike to sigh once more. Getting Angel to talk about his feelings was like pulling teeth, only a lot harder. Nearly three years with the Slayer had gone a long way toward cracking that stoic countenance of his, but two months of separation had caused it to snap right back into place.

„Just friggin' talk to her! It ain't that hard, you know? People do it all the time."

Spike took his friend by the shoulders and shook him gently.

„Don't lose her, okay? Don't lose her because you can't get your bloody mouth open! Find her! Talk to her! Pound some sense into her if you need to, but don't just let things die, okay? I don't want to go through another century of Brooding 101."

That actually managed to produce a smile on Angel.

„That's the spirit, mate!" Spike cheered him on. „Now you go and find that Slayer of yours! Me, I'm gonna take care of that other Slayer until she begs me to stop."

„In your dreams!" Faith called out from above.





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9 - Mother Knows Best?


#


Two days ago Joyce Summers had opened the door of her house and found her daughter standing outside, drenched from the pouring rain, shivering, looking like she would collapse any moment now. Her eyes had been red and puffy, mascara streaking down her cheeks from the rain and tears. Motherly concern had blotted out everything else but that bundle of misery her daughter had become.

She had almost manhandled her daughter into the bathroom, disposed of the drenched clothing, and dried her off with a towel. Buffy hadn't spoken more than three words the whole time. Without pressing any questions Joyce had then tucked her daughter into her old bed in her old room, where she had slept for nearly twenty hours straight. Joyce had heard Buffy cry herself to sleep.

Joyce knew she would never get the prize for most insightful mother of the year. She had missed too much of her daughter's life, even though it had been right under her nose. She had never had an inkling that her daughter was a supernatural warrior, tasked with protecting the world from evil, until the day Buffy returned after having been kidnapped by a Vampire.

The same Vampire she had lived with these last three years. Even without being the most insightful mother of the year Joyce knew that, whatever worries Buffy had, it was connected with Angel. Most mothers would probably have freaked finding out their daughters were in love with a Vampire. Joyce had been well on the way towards freaking herself, butt then she had met Angel.

He was a good man, she knew that, no matter that he had actually been dead for over 250 years and a genuine cradle-robbing creature of the night for 150 of those years. He was a man who loved her daughter like nothing else in the world, who would give his life for her in a heartbeat. Joyce had come to like Angel and, after three years, regarded him as her son-in-law, no matter that legal America might disagree.

She also knew that no one but Angel would be able to get her daughter into so distraught a state. She remembered her years with her own husband well enough to know that no one could possibly hurt you like the ones you loved. She just didn't know what had happened. Oh, she knew the two had had a falling out with each other, yet she had been certain they would get over it. They loved each other too much for that.

Now she was no longer sure.

Her daughter had just told her the entire story from start to finish. How she had asked Angel to make her a Vampire because she couldn't take losing him to time. How Angel had refused her, which had led to their separation. How Willow had found out about the blood bond and how Buffy had approached Angel with that idea. How it had all ended.

The story had taken most of the evening and it was already dark outside as Buffy sat on the couch, eyes red and puffy from fresh tears, and waited for her mother to say something. Anything.

"Mom?" She asked when the silence grew too long.

"I am not sure what I should say, Buffy." Joyce admitted. "The thought of you turning yourself into a Vampire ..." Her voice trailed off.

"It wouldn't change who I am, mom." Buffy reminded her. "Ever since the Restoration every newly made Vampire has retained her soul. And I don't even want to become a Vampire anymore. I wanted to be bonded to Angel, only he wanted ... he didn't want to. Didn't want me."

More tears spilled down her cheeks and Joyce draped her arm around Buffy's shoulders, pulling her in closer.

"I don't think that is even possible, Buffy." She said. "Angel loves you like I have seldom seen anyone love another person. Didn't you say that, earlier that evening, you two almost made up? That he said he missed you?"

"Yes."

"Maybe he has another reason, Buffy. Angel would give his life to protect you, you know that. Maybe you don't know everything about this bond. Maybe he wants to protect you from something."

Buffy gave a mocking laugh.

"Protect me, right! Like he did when he knocked me unconscious so he could sacrifice his own life to close the doors to Hell. He is such a bastard that way! So ..."

"Old-fashioned?" Joyce offered. "Buffy, you have to remember that Angel is an 18th century man. I am sure he loves you, sees you as an equal, but he probably can't help these ingrained instincts of his."

"You mean treating me like a dumb girl that has to be protected from her own stupid ideas?"

"Something like that, yes!" Joyce said.

Buffy was taken a bit aback by her mother's blunt honesty.

"Buffy," Joyce continued, "I know you really want to be with him forever, but - and you're gonna hate me for saying this - you're still a child." Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but Joyce held up her hand to silence her. "Especially by Angel's standards, Buffy. He's nearly three centuries old now. He might not like to talk about it, but he knows a lot more about the ups and downs of immortality than you or I do."

"It's not about the immortality!" Buffy cut in. "It's about being with him. If he were mortal things would be fine. We'd grow old together, no problem with that. But he isn't mortal. He will stay twenty-six forever. I will grow old and die, he never will. He can't become what I am, a mortal, so I have to become what he is."

Joyce saw the desperation in her daughter's eyes, knew that she wanted this more than anything else. It scared her. Desperate people often did desperate and stupid things.

"Buffy, what do you really know about this bond thing?" Joyce asked her, hoping to steer this conversation back to a more practical line. "You read a passage about it in a book, right? Angel probably knows a lot more about it. Maybe it's very dangerous."

Buffy stood from the couch and started pacing the room.

"I don't know if it's dangerous. I don't know the ups and downs of immortality. And you know why?" She didn't wait for her mother to answer. "Because that stupid bastard won't talk to me. He just decided that it's all a stupid idea and that's it as far as he is concerned. He'd rather let me walk away than talk to me. You know how tired I am of this attitude of his?"

Joyce nodded. "I know, honey. I know how bad things get when people who love each other stop talking to each other. When they no longer understand each other. When even the little shows of affection that were so automatic at first become an effort. Soon you start wondering if it's even worth the effort and once you start wondering that it's too late."

Buffy realized what her mom was talking about. "Mom! Sorry, I didn't want to ..."

"It's okay, Buffy. It's been a long time since your father left me. I won't pretend it doesn't still hurt now and then, but I've accepted it."

Buffy looked at her mother for a long time.

"Had it been possible, would you have wanted to stay with dad forever?"

Joyce sighed. "At the beginning, yes. We were very much in love with each other. Had someone offered me eternity on a silver platter at that time I would probably have jumped for it without a single moment's hesitation. Things change, though. And most times even love doesn't last forever."

She looked up at her daughter.

"Oh, Buffy! You know I want nothing less than eternal happiness for you. You and Angel ... maybe the two of you are one of those precious few loves that really can last forever. I don't know. I'm just saying that you should be certain about it before you do anything rash, you know?"

She stood and hugged her daughter. "Talk to him, Buffy. Better yet, make him talk to you! Force him to voice the things he doesn't want to talk about, okay? Don't let him go without a fight!"

Buffy hugged her mother back. The deep well of despair she had fallen into after walking away from the Hyperion that rainy night was a dark and lonely place. She had felt like someone had torn out her heart and replaced with a block of ice. If Angel didn't love her enough to spend eternity with her, then what was left in this world?

She shook her head. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe she had behaved like a stupid school girl during this entire thing. Want to be a Vampire, so make me! Angel hadn't volunteered his thoughts about it and she had been too in love with her own idea to really ask.

She just hoped it wasn't too late to ask him.

"Thanks mom!" She said. "I will try to do just that."

"Be happy, Buffy!" Joyce said. "That's all I expect from you. Just be happy!"

Buffy nodded. "I will try that, too."

10 - 'Till Death Leaves Us Alone Forever?

#

It was still raining.

Angel stood in front of the off-white apartment door, his coat dripping on the corridor floor, and knocked once more. It was mostly a gesture in futility, as he already knew that no one was home. He didn't exactly know how, but he could feel that the apartment beyond was dark and empty.

He brushed his wet hair back, sighing. Where could she be on a miserable night like this one? Even the Vampires stayed clear of the streets with the water pouring down the way it did, but this stubborn girl was out there somewhere, doing God knew what.

Didn't matter, he resolved. He had to find her and if she wasn't here, maybe she was at Willow and Tara's place. Or maybe her mother's. One of her favourite hangouts was also not far away from here. Maybe there ...

„Are you looking for me?" Her voice rang out from behind him.

There she was, standing in front of the closing elevator doors. Her long blonde hair hung down in wet strands, her white coat was soaked through and through. She carried an umbrella, but apparently the small thing had not done much good in the monsoon-like rain outside.

She was beautiful.

„I was about to scour the city for you, actually." Angel said.

She nodded and walked up to him until they stood just out of arm's reach, both of them wet, cold, miserable, and completely unaware of it and everything else except each other. Angel looked down at this small woman he loved so much and wondered how he could have been so stupid. How could he have allowed things to come this far? So close to losing her.

„Do ... do you want to come in and dry off?" Buffy asked finally. „I mean ... not like you can catch a cold or something, but you should really get out of those clothes and ... and I didn't mean that the way it just sounded, I ..."

He silenced her ramble by taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

„Yes, I would like to come in." He just said, giving her half a smile.

Buffy smiled back, a blush creeping up her cheeks as Angel's half-smile did its usual magic on her. She fumbled into her pockets for her keys and it seemed to take an eternity until she finally managed to open the door.

They both hung their dripping coats and Buffy walked toward her closet, taking out some dry clothes for herself. Then she hesitated and gave Angel a sheepish smile.

„I ... do you want ... I mean, I have some of your shirts here, if you want to ..." She shut herself up and handed him a large silk shirt. Black, of course.

„I was wondering where that one went." Angel said.

„As if you can tell. All your shirts are black." She shot back, then smiled again. „Sorry, I ... I took them along, because ... because ..."

„I know." Angel just said. „Me, too."

Buffy nodded and went into the bathroom to change. It was a bit strange to show modesty in front of Angel, seeing as he had seen and had his hands on pretty much every part of her body, yet undressing in front of him right now was not something she was able to do. Two minutes later she walked back out, dressed in dry jeans and shirt. Angel had disposed of his wet shirt and replaced it with the one she had given him.

„So ..." Buffy said, sitting down on the couch. „You wanted to see me?"

Angel nodded, sitting down beside her.

„I ... it occurred to me that I still owe you some answers, Buffy. I left a lot of things unsaid and ... I was wrong not to really talk things through with you."

Buffy nodded for him to go on.

„I'm not sure where I should start. I ... you might have noticed that this whole talking about my feelings thing is not what I do best."

„I noticed." Buffy said with a slight smile.

„Three nights ago ... when you approached me with the blood bond ... I have taken a look at the book you found it in, Buffy. It's woefully incomplete, I'm afraid. It tells about the bond, but not about it's consequences."

„And those are ...?" She prodded him.

Angel moved his hand through his wet hair again, looking for the words.

„The bond, it's ... no Vampire has bonded himself to a human in this way for centuries. The ritual was originally conceived to give a Vampire a daytime helper. A servant, a slave. The Vampire can use the bond to control the human's thoughts and actions.

„But the bond works too well, is too deep. Some Vampires bonded themselves to humans of greater willpower than themselves and winded up the slaves instead of the masters. And once the bond is established it can never be severed. It exists as long as both of them exist and when one dies, the other dies with him."

Angel looked up to meet her eyes.

„Do you understand, Buffy? The bond isn't a blessing, it's a curse. An eternal struggle for dominance, a chain that can never be broken."

„Only if the two who are bonded want to fight." Buffy said calmly. „You wouldn't try and use the bond to control me, Angel, I know that. Neither would I. I hope you know that, too."

Angel shook his head.

„I know that now, Buffy. But I don't know what will be in a hundred years. In a thousand years. Buffy, you don't know what it means to live so long. You are twenty-one. A person changes over so long a time, sometimes changes so much you wouldn't even recognize it as the same person.

„When I was your age, I was a good-for-nothing brat, the spoiled son of a rich man, my only pastimes were drinking and women. I was that man, yet today he might as well be a total stranger for all I still have in common with him."

„Angel, you never know how people will change over time. It's a risk, sure, but the same risk that every couple that enters into marriage takes. We can't base our future on the people we might become in a hundred years."

„But a married couple can divorce, Buffy." Angel said. „The bond, though, that can not be broken. I can't imagine a time when I would ever want to be apart from you, Buffy, but that doesn't mean this time could never come. And then we would be forced to spend eternity with someone we didn't want anymore."

Buffy regarded him for a long moment.

„So what you're telling me is that you don't want to do this because you might get second thoughts a thousand year from now. Because 1000-year-old-Angel might be sore with 280-year-old-Angel for bonding him with me, is that it?"

Angel almost flinched at the sarcastic tone of her voice, but forced himself to nod.

„Yes, bluntly spoken."

„Even if I believed a single word of that," Buffy said, „it doesn't cut, Angel. So maybe that bond thing could pose some problems for us a long, long time in the future. That doesn't explain why you didn't even want to consider the option of turning me into a Vampire."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off.

„And don't give me that loss of sunlight or children angle, Angel. None of that means a thing without you and you know that I think that way. You came here to be honest with me? Than start being honest, mister! Fuck the bond! Fuck being a Vampire! Why are you so afraid of me becoming an immortal like you? Why are you so afraid of being with me forever?"

Angel looked at her for a long moment, then sighed and shook his head.

„You have no idea what you are giving up, Buffy. No idea at all. It's not about sunlight. It's not about children. Not about being able to taste food or feeling a heartbeat under your skin. It's not about any of that, though I miss it every day of my life."

He looked up again.

„I wish I could really explain what I feel, Buffy, but it's so hard. It's a feeling that you are one step removed from the world. This body I live in is dead flesh and I am aware of that every second of my existence. Everything feels less real, like watching a TV movie instead of really taking part in it. You see so much in an eternal life, experience so much, but somewhere along the line it stops making an impact on you because you know that you are all you can ever be and that will not change."

„Didn't you just tell me five minutes ago that you are afraid we will change in a few hundred years?" She asked him.

„We do change, Buffy, in the way that we get tired of things and want to move on to others. Because no matter how detached we feel from the world, it's still the only thing around to experience. Our feelings change, maybe even our character, but only in the way that things cease to be important to us. Everything around you becomes meaningless and you no longer care."

His dark eyes locked with hers and she could see deep sadness inside them.

„I don't want to take this from you, Buffy. I don't want to make you less than you are. You are so beautiful, so very alive. Whenever you are close the very air around me seems to vibrate with energy, your glorious light. I've seen it lots of times, though. That light will fade when the centuries begin to pile up.

„I've seen Vampires who were really old, Vampires to whom I am but a child, and they are shadows, hollow beings. Thousands of years have burnt them out, leaving nothing but the outer shell. Everything they were has long ago been lost, because time might not touch our bodies, but it erodes everything else.

„I can feel it's beginnings even in myself. Before you came along I was well on my way toward it. Detachment. Aloofness. Most things around me had ceased to be of interest to me. I had my quest to help my people, a few friends, and that was it. Everything else was meaningless.

„When you stepped into my life you brought me alive again, but I know it will not last. Especially not when you want to me to extinguish that flame you are to me."

Buffy looked at him, really looked at him, and saw the dark abyss in those eyes. It was as if the man she loved so much was but a curtain, which had now been flung aside. Somewhere in those depths was the demon, the thing that still animated his dead body and would continue to do so for eternity, yet beyond that there was ... nothing. Only darkness.

She shook her head, dispelling the image. This was not the Angel she knew. It couldn't be.

„Is that all I am to you?" She asked him, bitterness seeping into her voice despite herself. „A fire to huddle close to until it burns out and you continue on your way?"

„You are a mortal, Buffy. I am not. We have known each other for three years now. A long time for you, but an eyeblink to me. Three years I wouldn't trade for anything in my life, because I've been happier than ever before, but still just an eyeblink. That is what it means to be an immortal, Buffy. Everything lasts but a few moments and the rest is dark night between the scattered few warm fires."

He took her hand in his and for the first time its cold feeling did not give her an erotic thrill. Rather it drove his point home. He was cold, dead. A being wrapped in dead flesh, one step removed from the world.

He was right in one aspect. She hadn't thought about what being an immortal might mean. The only thing on her mind had been to be with him forever. Now she thought about everything else it would mean. She would see her mother and her friends crumble into dust. Everything around her would vanish and be replaced by something new, something changed, over and over again.

She looked at Angel and the weight of nearly three centuries of existence rested solidly on her as he looked back.

It didn't make a difference, though.

„I love you, Angel." She told him. „And I feel the same way about you that you do about me. When you are close I feel more alive than ever before. To me YOU are the fire in the dark night, YOU are the man who saved my soul. I don't care what happened to those other Vampires, I don't care that they turned into vegetables after a few millennia. It won't be like that for us."

„You can't know that, Buffy!" Angel said sadly.

„No, I can't. But neither can you! I don't care that 1000-year-old-Angel might have some regrets about being with me forever, because 1001-year-old-Angel will be over it and happy again. We are so much more together than we are apart, Angel. Don't you see that?"

She could see a bloodred tear trail down his cheek and the words died in her throat. He looked up at her, his eyes rimmed red.

„Don't make me do this, Buffy!" He pleaded with her. „Don't make me kill this light you are to me!"

It tore her heart out to see him like this, so open and raw. In their three years together she had never seen so deep into his heart. Which was precisely why she continued.

„That light will be killed when time takes me away from you, Angel! When death separates us forever because I am mortal and you are not."

Angel didn't say anything after that. He slowly got to his feet, picked up his coat, and walked out of her apartment. Buffy didn't go after him. She had said everything she could think of and could only pray now.

„Please, make him see it!" She pleaded to whatever deity might be listening. „Just make him see it!"



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11 - We Need a Miracle and We Need It Fast

#

The Vampire's name was James Reuben. He had come to America via Ellis Island in 1921 and had stayed here ever since. In 1928 he had had a strange midnight encounter in a side alley of New York and had not aged a day since then. His Sire, though, was long dead, hunted down by a Vampire society that no longer tolerated those that fed on humans. Or changed them against their will.

All in all Reuben would have told them to just let the poor Vampire go, as he didn't mind much being a Vampire. No one had asked him, though. He didn't even know the name of his Sire. Sometimes he regretted that, having heard that the relationship between a Sire and a Childe was something truly special. He had not yet found someone he would have wanted as his own Childe.

Reuben liked being a Vampire. Sure, there were drawbacks, but he had learned to live with those. He sure as hell didn't mind that he had civil rights once more. During the Vampire legalization campaign he had been one of the most avid helpers in Cordelia Chase's pro-Vampire lobby, although he had never met the girl in person. He believed he had done his part to make the VLA a success and these days life as a Vampire was really good.

Most of the times anyway, Reuben corrected himself as he looked across the table at Geoffrey Jerome.

"This is not acceptable." Jerome said.

"It is fact." Reuben said, not for the first time. "The American public does not like us. Too many hardcore Christians out there, Puritans, they think we are perverting their teachings."

Jerome scoffed, something he never did in public. When he was talking to his followers or the public he always had a smile, never a frown, never seemed anything but the friendly neighborhood preacher. Amongst his inner circle, though, Jerome showed his true face.

Reuben had few illusions about Jerome. He was, at best, a fanatic. At worst, a madman. 300 years old if he was a day and convinced that he was God's own chosen. Reuben held some prejudice against the old ones, meaning those who had been made before the Restoration of Souls. Most of them were bloody lunatics.

Reuben knew what it was like to have a demon inside himself, who constantly whispered temptation into his ear. He couldn't image what if must have been like, though, to be controlled by that demon. To be, in fact, nothing but that demon, an animal that desired nothing but pain and destruction. He was convinced that none of the old ones had ever really gotten over that and that more than a few of them were certifiable raving madmen.

"We speak but the truth!" Jerome growled. "We are God's Chosen. And the truth shall set them free."

Case in point, Reuben thought.

"I fear we will need more than the truth on our side, Geoffrey!" One of Jerome's other lieutenants said. Reuben didn't particularly like Kurt Jugens, who was nothing but a slimy reptile in his mind. Still, Jugens was their public relations expert and he knew what he was talking about.

"Our flock has grown steadily," Jugens said, "yet the opposition has grown much faster. The way things are going we will soon have a worse reputation than Scientology."

"There are always those wanting to oppose the Righteous." Jerome said with a dark look in his eyes.

"One would think that eternal life on a silver platter would make even the most conservative man weak." Jugens said.

"This is not about eternal life!" Jerome reminded him quite forcefully. "This is about doing God's work! It is about making people see God's grace, so that they can stand proud and tall come the day."

Reuben and Jugens looked at each other across the table, sharing a moment of understanding. It was an open secret among the inner circle of the Church of the Holy Blood that Jerome was the only one among their number who believed what he was preaching. He had founded the church and the others had come aboard for various reasons.

Jugens was in it for the money, something he had never made a secret of. The church dealt with a product no sane man would not want, eternal life. Lots of money to be made there.

Reuben himself was, truth to be told, in for much the same reason, though money wasn't the only deciding factor. It was also about making other people aware of how great it was to be a Vampire. Reuben didn't give much of a shit about religion and felt that an eternal life in the here and now, no faith needed, was much preferable to very uncertain eternal bliss in the next world. That was the message he wanted to spread. Take eternal life while you can get it, people, it beats the alternative.

"Still, Geoffrey," Reuben entered the discussion once more, "we need something else. Something to make the people want to accept us."

A thought suddenly came to Jerome, as they sometimes did. One could see it in the dangerous glimmer that had found its way into his eyes. Reuben didn't particularly like that glimmer. Jerome was a very charismatic man and Reuben's ticket to lots of earthly riches, but that didn't change the fact that he was a dangerous man.

"The Romans fed the Christians to the lions," Jerome murmured to himself, "but then it took but a single generation for the Roman Empire to become Christian."

"What are you mumbling about, Geoffrey?" Jugens asked.

"The Romans all became Christians because the Emperor converted, Kurt!" Jerome said. "Convert the leaders, and the rabble will follow."

There was still more of that glimmer in his eyes now. It said that Jerome had latched onto something like a leech and would never let go again. Come to think of it, the idea didn't sound all that bad.

"The leaders." Reuben said. "Yes, that could work."

"The Vampirium?" Jugens asked, shaking his head. "Forget about it! Most of these old buzzards are still stuck in the middle ages."

The Vampirium, the council of elders that ruled the Vampire race, was certainly that. The youngest council member, as far as Reuben knew, was still a century older than Jerome, while the oldest ranged somewhere in the multi-millennial range.

Everybody had heard the rumors on how the Vampirium had come down like a hammer on one of its own members, the late Nikolai Grigori. Nobody was quite sure what Grigori had done to deserve the wrath of the Vampirium, yet the Order of Grigori had been smashed and the old Vampire himself was dust.

Reuben did not want to be the one to convince the Council of the righteousness of their way. Fortunately a look at Jerome's face told Reuben that neither of them was planning anything of the sort.

"The Vampirium Elders are has-beens." Jerome said with a satisfied grin. "They meet in their shadowy rooms and no one gives a damn what they do. No, Jugens. The Vampirium are not the leaders of the Vampire race. They haven't been for nearly a century."

Jerome suddenly rose and laughed.

"Yes, why didn't I see it sooner? The man who has saved us all, the man who has returned our souls to us. He brought us back on the path to redemption and now he will lead us into the light."

"Angelus?" Jugens asked skeptically. "You want to convince Angelus to speak for our Church? I am not sure that is a good idea."

Jerome turned on him with fire in his eyes.

"Hold your tongue! Angelus will speak for us. Has he not set us on this path? Like the Lord's own begotten son once gave his blood to bestow immortality on his children, so did Angelus give us the light of our souls. He will aid us in our work, for it is his work that we do."

Reuben listened to Jerome's words and did not share the other's optimism. True, with Angelus speaking for them the church's popularity was sure to rise, especially among Vampires. Among humans ... maybe. Since Vampire history had become a more or less public topic the name of Angelus had certainly become a household word in America, yet few mortals connected the legendary worker of the Restoration with a Vampire called Angel who worked as a federal marshal in Los Angeles.

Still, once Angel was on board his friends and allies would certainly follow. Maybe even Cordelia Chase herself, who had worked wonders with American public opinion during the VLA campaign. Yes, getting Angelus to speak for them was definitely the right thing to do.

Reuben just wondered whether it would truly be as easy as Jerome thought it would be. He rather doubted it, actually.



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12 - The Price of Immortality

#

Buffy looked at the empty glass sitting in front of her on the bar counter and tried to remember how many empty glasses had stood in that same place tonight. Five? Six? She wasn't certain any longer. Math had never been her strong point and her current state of intoxication did nothing to improve her calculating skills.

She was drunk, she knew that. Hey, she had turned twenty-one not long ago, so she was legally and officially getting drunk. No one could keep her from getting drunk. She could get drunk all she wanted to whenever she wanted to and no one could tell her differently.

Three days since she and Angel had talked. Three days without a word from him. It was still raining outside. The weather people on the TV called it the worst rainstorm California had seen in years. Buffy didn't mind much right now. It fitted her mood to a T.

"Gimme another one!" She mumbled at the bartender.

"Are you sure you haven't had enough, girl?" He asked her.

"I'll tell you once I've had enough!" She slurred the words. "Now gimme another one!"

He sighed and refilled the glass once more, the brown liquid reflecting the overhead lights. Buffy stared into her drink - scotch, was it? - and wondered how many more she would have to drink until it was enough.

Enough for what? Enough to stop thinking about Angel? Enough to forget that he was keeping away from her because he was so fucking afraid of being with her? She snorted. Yeah, as if drinks would help with that. Still, as senseless distraction went ...

"Hello, Buffy!"

Buffy started and lost her balance, tumbling off the stool and to the floor with a string of curses escaping her mouth, ending up on her butt, looking more than a bit undignified.

Darla smiled at her from the neighboring bar stool.

"Nice one, but you have to work on the landing."

Buffy grumbled under her breath as she struggled back to her feet, the room not cooperating by spinning around her and continuously tilting the floor into a different direction. She finally managed to get back on her stool, holding on to the counter to steady herself, and glared at the Vampire sitting beside her.

"Wadda you want?"

Darla was dressed as inconspicuously as she had ever seen her. Blue jeans, black jacket, her blonde hair tied back in a pony tail, she looked not a day over eighteen. Darla was pretty much a celebrity these days, her Playboy issue from two years ago was scoring sterling prices on e-bay, and there were even rumors of a movie role. She never went out in public without a little camouflage.

"I originally planned to talk to you, dear, but I'm afraid you are not in any condition to do that right now. How many drinks did you have?"

Buffy shrugged. "Six or seven. Not sure."

Darla sighed. "Guess we have to do something about that first."

Without further warning her hands flashed out to cup Buffy's face and turn it toward her. Before she knew what was happening she was staring into Darla's electric blue eyes and felt something inside her head part like a curtain. Power poured into her and washed through her mind like a flood wave.

"Shit!" She cursed, struggling out of Darla's grip. She was about to lose her balance once more, but caught herself with an ease that didn't go together with six or seven glasses of scotch.

The room wasn't spinning anymore either.

"Feeling better now?" Darla asked.

Buffy shook her head to clear out the cobwebs and found that she was completely sober, the nice buzz and feeling of numbness gone without a trace.

"What did you do to me?" She asked Darla accusingly.

"Nothing much." The Vampire smiled at her. "Just slipped a little suggestion into your brain, kicking your Slayer healing into overdrive to metabolize the alcohol more quickly. I'm sure Giles could explain it better. Just think of it as instant soberness."

"You should bottle that up and sell it. Would do great." Buffy mumbled. "I spent the better part of the night getting drunk, Darla. Now I have to start from scratch. Scotch doesn't come cheap, you know?"

"It doesn't help much, either."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I got a drunk a lot at the beginning of the last century. Never lasted and didn't help."

Buffy looked down at the full glass in front of her.

"Why are you here, Darla?" She asked when the silence between them grew to uncomfortable.

"I want to talk to you."

"I think I can guess the topic." Buffy said resignedly.

"You want to invoke the Vinculum Dies Noctis Cruentos with Angel. The ritual of blood bonding. You want to be with him forever."

Buffy looked at the woman sitting beside her. They looked about the same age, yet more than four centuries separated them. Darla didn't seem like a hollow, burnt-out person, not at all.

"Do you think making me immortal will kill something inside me?" Buffy asked her.

"Yes." Darla said without hesitation. "And no."

"Thanks for the cryptic answer. Lorn couldn't have done better."

"What I mean, Buffy, is that becoming an immortal will change you. You will become more removed from the world, that is inevitable. This is a world of mortals, it always will be. You take yourself out of it and you lo